Thursday 11 October 2007

Up and down

I'm going to see the doctor tommorrow, I've put it off for a week and a half, but I've got to do it sometime.

I've started to tell a few people. It's hard, if you don't tell people they can't be sympathetic and look after Grace when it does all go wrong, but the more people you tell the more people you have to re-tell later.

I feel very emotionally up and down, one day I'm sure it'll be fine, another I feel so angry with God and just desparing of the next few weeks. I worry when I feel sick, I worry when I don't feel sick. Today I'm sure I feel "less pregnant" than I did yesterday. I'm going to ask the doctor to test my progesterone levels. Apparently low levels can cause miscarriage and it's only an urine test.

They did a few tests after m/c no.3 but didn't find anything. I just don't get it, why would 3 die and one survive, this is my fifth pregnancy. That seems mad, I'm only 28 and I've been pregnant five times. I keep telling myself I've got no reason to think it'll all go wrong but then I look at my stats and think, I've got no reason to think it'll all go right as well!

4 comments:

Tina / Anxious Changer said...

Good luck going to see the doctor. I feel the same way you do, so please know you are not alone...

**Hugs**

Kristen said...

I hope everything went well at the docs. Keep us posted!

lltanderson said...

congratulations on your BFP! i will be thinking of you as you continue on this journey.

-lori

Missy said...

Congratulations on your BFP! I can definitely relate to all your fears of going to see the doctor. I'm hoping that your visit will go well and that things will be good. :)